After waiting almost a year, Ive finally managed to book an appointment with a psychiatrist. I cant express in words how relieved I am It all took so long, that I was starting to think the hospital didnt take me serious.
January 19th I visited my doctor, and told him I had this problem with being in the wrong body, and that I wanted him to send me to a specialist for treatment. When he gave me the letter, first thing I did was call the specialist at the VU Medical Center. They told me that there was a waiting list for at least 5 to 6 months before I could even get an interview.
In July I finally had my interview, and they told me I had to call back a few weeks later for an appointment. A few weeks later I called them back and got the message that they couldnt book me in for a psychiatrist yet, because they were in the middle of moving from one side of the building to the other. They could, however, make an appointment for an extended interview on October 1st.
After the extended interview, they told me call us back in 2 weeks for an appointment. Two weeks later they told me the exact same thing, and in fact they told me the same thing 3 times in a row. So by now its halfway December, and I still hadnt gotten my appointment. A quick post on a transgender support forum told me that it was actually nothing special. The specialist team is just badly understaffed, and I had to be persistent and just keep trying.
Today I called them up again and almost shit in my pants when they said sure, we can book an appointment, hang on Ill fetch your file. Almost a year of waiting, but Its finally there. February 2nd, 16:00 CET Ive got my first appointment with the psychiatrist, yeah!
Today is the first Dutch national Coming Out Day . I can just hear you thinking Oh my god.. Ajira is going to tell us shes gay!, but youre wrong. Hey wait a minute did you just say she ? wtf ?Uhm... well... yeah... kind of :P
Lets talk about the birds and the bees a bit. When a child is born, he/she gets a certain sex (the private bits) and a certain gender identity. In most cases the sex and the gender identity are the same. Someone is born with a penis, and identifies as a boy, or someone is born with a vagina and identifies as a girl. This is what we call cisgender.
Unfortunately, sometimes these two are not the same. The person is born with a penis, but identifies as a girl; or is born with a vagina, but identifies as a boy. This is what we call transgender. I am one of these people.
When I was a teenager, I discovered that certain parts of my body were not in place. I wasnt too comfy with them, and it didnt make much sense to me that I had them. By the age of 19 I had figured out what it was, and was shocked. I dropped into a state of denial and depression for several years. In June 2007, at age 29, I finally had the balls (oh the irony ) to acknowledge my problem and face the facts.
Im currently in the process of going from male to female, but it takes time a lot of time Youll hear about the transition via this blog, as time goes by; Its too much to explain in one post. I will change, but Im still the same person, with the same views, preferences, rants, etc The only differences that you , the reader of my blog/website, will notice is that Tim van Dijk will slowly but surely cease to exist, and you will learn more and more about the real me: Ajira Kimberly van Dijk.
So.. stay tuned!
On January 10th, I made a phone call to the VUmc that would symbolize the beginning of my new life: I signed up at the Gender team, a team of professionals that is specialized in the treatment of Gender Identity Disorder.
When I signed up in January, I knew there would be a 5 to 6 month waiting list, because the team is just up to its neck in work. Today I finally received the phone call: We would like to invite you for an intake meeting. Since I was at work at the time, jumping through the ceiling wouldnt be a good idea, so I celebrated in silence. Next Tuesday, 15:00 Im going to the gender team for the intake meeting, and at 16:00 I have my first meeting with the leading psychiatrist. Cant wait to get started!
Ive always hated birthdays, especially my own. On a rainy Tuesday in 1978, at approximately 7:30am, I spawned into this world. Today, it is my 30th Birthday, but Im not too happy with it.
It reminds me that Ive been trapped in the wrong body for 3 decades now, which makes me sad and angry at the same time; its quite traumatizing. It also gave me a firm wake-up call, and an all systems go!-signal. Im definitely going to kick the transition in a higher gear now... 30 years of trauma is more than enough in my opinion, and Ive decided that this will definitely be his last birthday; Next year will be my first real birthday. Next year, I will celebrate my birthday as my true, female self.
About a year ago I made a decision (more on that in the FAQ section when the time is right), and part of that decision was to grow my hair. Its grown quite a bit, and normally I just let it hang loose (head banger style), or I fold it back and wear a hair band.
